Hey #087: Want to better your communication? Begin with working on your self-expression.
The inevitable connection between self-expression and communication 👇
Self-expression is an art.
An art that empowers us to not sell ourselves short and to be vocal about our truth.
An art that stretches our courage to know and accept ourselves with compassion.
An art that demands us to be okay in creating the discomfort of upsetting others.
But…
Self-expression is not communication.
Self-expression is different from communication.
Communication is about ensuring that what we want to convey is received effectively.
Hence, communication puts the focus on the sender (you) and the receiver (other people involved).
Whereas, self-expression is about YOU only.
It’s you expressing your true self (your feelings, thoughts, story, emotions, etc.) either to yourself (like in a journal) or to others (like in a two-way communication).
Basically, communication is built on self-expression.
Meaning:
If you don’t express yourself, you can’t communicate.
We want to be good at communication. In fact, many of us want to excel at it.
But how can it be possible if we hesitate in expressing ourselves.
How can we communicate substantially with others when we don’t have any substance in our expression?
We can’t unless we gain that substance by owning our self-expression.
So it’s only fair to first learn the art of self-expression which we can then extend to learning the art of communication.
Since self-expression exposes our pretense and frees our vulnerability, most of us hesitate to express ourselves.
(If the last sentence felt even a bit relatable to you, you know what I’m talking about.)
Though, on the other side of this hesitation lies the path of effective communication.
Because the more you work on your self-expression, the more you become self-confident, self-aware, compassionate, curious, observant, prudent…
And in this becoming you morph your personality into an effective communicator.
How exactly?
Self-expression makes you feel powerful. Not because people start validating you, but because you start expressing yourself without needing any validation.
Self-expression reveals the strength of your relationships. It tells you who all can meet you at the depth from which you’re expressing yourself. This refines your discernment towards interpersonal dynamics. A LOT.
Self-expression unlocks your ability to question things more than ever. When you start owning your truth, every facade raises your curiosity to question it. The more curious you become, the more open-minded your perspectives get.
Self-expression brings you peace in your own company. You feel lonely, but you don’t get bothered by it. Instead, you find solace in understanding loneliness as the part of being a human. As a result, your excessive dependency on others to feel accepted dissolves.
Self-expression empowers you with creativity. You start finding creativity everywhere. In nature, in people, in mundane moments of the day; creativity catches you off guard. This makes you observant and creative which then gets reflected in your interactions with others.
Self-expression makes you calmer and more attentive. You encourage people to be themselves without finding yourself getting insecure. Due to which people get more interested in talking to you.
Self-expression boosts your confidence. You trust yourself to deal with whatever life has to offer you. Because you’ve already won your trust by expressing yourself authentically.
Self-expression enables you to lead life from the place of authenticity. Not because anyone demands it, but because it becomes your default. With time you find the need to say less because your presence says it all.
Self-expression skyrockets your self-awareness. You get aware of the things that you always knew were puppeting your actions from the background. Now your words carry perspectives which others find quite unique.
I can go on and on.
Because I’ve experienced all of these points and more in my own life when I started expressing myself.
And by expressing, I don’t mean writing HeyEmotions. Of course, it’s a part of my self-expression. But that's not all of it.
My self-expression practices include introspection, journaling, intentionally having difficult conversations with people, meditation, choosing to be vulnerable with people, cultivating self-trust, etc.
None of these practices are easy per se. Because they call out my pretense on all levels.
But because they call out my pretense, they bring me closer to myself.
And that’s when I get to know myself which then removes all my hesitation to not express myself.
Guess what, this is how my communication and writings come from a place in which people feel “Ashi, I also feel it but I didn’t know it until I read/ heard it…”
This feeling is nothing but a feeling of resonance which fuels connection.
And connection is how we thrive individually and collectively.
…which is also the purpose of communication.
So think about it.
How is your self-expression doing?
Is it lost somewhere and trying to find its way back to you? Is it near you but you don’t know how to attend to it?
Whatever answer you get (point to remember: you’ll not have to think much), use it as the beginning point to know your self-expression better.
And then your communication will get better on its own.
Don’t take my word for it. Try it.
Wherever you need my help, let me know.
🦋
I’ll see you next Thursday,
Ashi
(Your self-expression companion)
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