Hey #095: This is the fastest I’ve failed (and succeeded), learned, and moved on in the last 2 years.

Disclaimer: It’s a long-yet-fulfilling read with lessons to manage failure and success. It’s the story of the miraculous last week ❤️

What I’m going to share with you is personal.

And to a significant level, it’s professionally vulnerable too.

Last Thursday (exactly a week back), I met two of my college friends for dinner.

We chatted about various things.

Our main discussion topic was – Communication.

One friend was sharing how lack of communication in his family dynamics is creating issues. The other friend and I were agreeing that communication is indeed a major missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle of healthy and fulfilling relationships.

The conversation continued on the unavoidable significance of communication in relationships. And I ended up saying these words to my friends:

“You know what, you both are validating my business idea. Communication and conversations, rather self-expression at the radical level is so important. Yet we seem to struggle with it the most.

Hence, I’ve now started coaching people 1:1 to overcome those challenges. If you know someone in your circle who’d need my help, send them my way.”

This expression came out differently. It even felt different to me.

Because:

1. I had never asked those friends to promote or share about my services ever (I've been in the business game for 6+ years. And I've been friends with them for 7-ish years).

2. I had never labeled my services as “coaching” since I transitioned to the emotional wellbeing space two years back.

(Little did I know, this unthought, unplanned and natural expression of mine would lead to a domino fall of events and result in the miraculous 7 days ahead.)

I came back home.

I tried to sleep. But I couldn’t.

I was feeling the imposter syndrome of labeling my services as “coaching” and sharing the same to my friends.

In my head, I was questioning myself – “Who do you think you are, Ashi?”

(The source of these self-doubts calls for another story for some other time.)

Anyways, it was past 1 am. And I kept trying to sleep.

But sleep didn’t knock on my door.

Suddenly, I started typing on my phone.

I found myself crafting a message, mentioning my 1:1 coaching services to help one befriend their self-expression, conversation and communication in relationships.

At 2-2:30 am, I circulated that message in my WhatsApp network.

After which, I slept…finally.

The next morning (Friday), I woke up to an enquiry message.

I chatted with the person. And we scheduled a discovery call.

The next day (Saturday), I had the discovery call with her.

She mentioned how it’s difficult for her to express herself in her friendships due to the fear of causing conflicts. I suggested her next steps, told her the time and financial investment, answered her queries, and we hung up.

But…

Her challenge was so relevant and common that it gave me an idea of conducting my first webinar on the topic of self-expression.

Title: “How to express yourself in your relationships despite the fear of causing conflicts?”

I acted on the idea. And scheduled the webinar for the next day (Sunday).

I waited for people to register.

But only one person showed interest. And even she didn’t register because of timing issues.

With zero registrations, that webinar didn’t happen.

The idea had failed.

I felt bad. So bad.

Especially because I knew the potential of this webinar. And it would have been the first time when I’d be introducing my coaching services to a live audience. So I was really looking forward to it.

When it didn’t happen, I felt I was not meant to talk about my coaching services. And weird stories began in my head which then fueled my self-doubt.

I allowed myself to sulk in self-doubt.

After all sulking and whining, I found a spark of confidence within which said, “No worries. I’ll do something else. I’ll make it work.”

(Normally, it’d have taken me days to find this spark. But this time, it was right there.)

The same day, the person talking with whom I got the idea of the webinar replied saying that she wouldn’t be going ahead with my 1:1 coaching services.

I thought to myself, “Nothing is going my way!!!!”

Still I held onto that spark of confidence.

The current week began the next day (Monday).

I had forgotten about the message I had circulated on WhatsApp two days back.

To my surprise, I received another enquiry for my 1:1 coaching services.

This person didn’t go ahead because of the financial constraints.

This time, I didn’t sulk at all. Heck, I didn’t get the time to sulk. Because…

His rejection for the proposal gave me the sudden idea of launching a month-long group-coaching program “Self-Expression Group Intensive 1.0” to coach 7 people on overcoming their self-expression and conversation challenges.

(Here’s everything about this program.)

I felt highly positive about this program because: a) it was gonna be economical as compared to 1:1 coaching, and b) I had personally enjoyed delivering group programs more than 1:1 programs during my branding consultancy days.

I acted so fast on this idea that my mind couldn’t get time to weave stories to fuel self-doubt.

I created the program deliverables, designed the brochure, and made the program live on LinkedIn and WhatsApp around 9 pm on 1st April.

(I didn’t even consider the social media algorithms pleasing rule of “posting at the right time”. And no it wasn’t any April Fools day prank either lol)

Within an hour of the post, I received an enquiry message on LinkedIn.

It felt like a success.

We scheduled an alignment call.

It gave me more confidence.

The next day (Tuesday), I shared about Self-Expression Group Intensive 1.0 in my WhatsApp network. And received 3-4 more enquiries.

One of which was this:

The dedication and interest in this message (and in other enquiries) made me realize I might have found the sweet spot between “what I want to offer as my coaching services” and “what people want to buy”. (I may be too soon to conclude this. But that’s what I still feel.)

I scheduled an alignment call with this person.

The way he turned up for the call was also quite impressive.

(I wrote about it here.)

Next day (Wednesday, aka yesterday), he made the payment and reserved his spot.

Today, I’ve had two alignment calls regarding this group coaching program.

And a few other things are set in motion.

I can’t wait to see how they’d turn out.

From the beginning of this edition to this point, all the sentences above that are written in bold (like this) are the defining moments of my last week.

These are the moments which acted as a stepping stone for me to get over the failure (and success), learn what I needed to learn, and move on.

If you read only those sentences, you’ll find the unexpected and unplanned flow of events which made my last week mind-blowing. (It’s a fascinating flow. Do read only those sentences at once.)

These were the main lessons for me:

• We've the ability to silence our mind stories. This ability is found (rather cultivated) by going beyond our perceived images and definitions of how things “should” happen in our life. 

  Had I stuck with my ideas of how things must play out, I’d not have been able to go past my self-doubts and act with such speed.

• Failure is nothing but feedback. It tells what didn’t work. Yes, sulk and whine. But don't get drowned into it. Feel it all. And march ahead.

  It came handy during the failure of the webinar, and the proposal rejections for my 1:1 coaching services.

• The same goes with success. Success is also a feedback. It tells what did work. Here, sulking and whining gets replaced with happiness and pride. Feel the happiness and pride without drowning into them. And march ahead.

  When I got the group coaching program’s one spot sold within 48 hrs of its launch, I felt proud of myself. Something that didn’t exist 48 hrs ago, ended up filling my bank account of money and happiness. It validated my idea big time. I felt all of those emotions. And moved onto the next step ahead without getting attached with it.

• Self-doubts are inevitable. They'll ALWAYS be there. The goal isn't to avoid self-doubts. It's to act, despite self-doubts. The sooner we accept this fact, the better relationship we'd have with success, failure and progress.

  Each day of the last week, I recited this perspective in my head multiple times. And with each passing day, the recitation got charged with more confidence and started reflecting in my actions.

• There's a time to act. Then there's a time to wait for those acts to show results. It's this waiting which is harder than taking actions. Hence, learning to play the ping pong game between actions and patience is crucial.

  It takes me effort (much of it) to recognize when it’s time to take a step back from “doing”. I had to consciously remind myself to not excessively water the seed of my idea with too much action and relax.

• Some mysteries of life can't be explained at all. Like, how things are working in our favor. How they aren't. We can try to map it all out the best we can. But it may not be the truth. Thus, knowing when to stop looking for explanations and accepting happenings the way they are is no less than a superpower.

  I’ve stopped trying to make sense of a few amazing things that happened in the last 7 days. I didn’t actively do anything. Yet things came my way and filled my heart with gratitude. Ultimately, I learnt to not spoil the beauty of this mystery by my unrequired explanations.

• Recognizing, honoring and claiming progress (no matter how tiny or big) is what success/ failure is all about. What is progress? It’s the development made from the last checkpoint to the current checkpoint, which can only be gauged by looking backwards. For progress is not how far we’re yet to go. Progress is how far we’ve already come.

  In hindsight, one person showing their interest to join the webinar was still a progress for me even when the webinar didn’t happen (and I took it as a failure).

• What is failure or success in OUR subjective reality can entirely be different from others’. And it’s perfectly fine. We don’t have to accept others' definition of how we “should” define and feel/ think about our success or failure. We can listen to what they’ve to say. But do we accept it right away? – Nuh uh!

  None of what I’ve shared in this edition may appear as “success” or “failure” to you the way it meant to me. And that’s the point. It needn’t be.

From the last Thursday of cluelessness, restlessness, desperation for “success” to this Thursday with a group coaching program to deliver, alignment calls to take, people to onboard, relevant content to create, collaboration ideas to move ahead with, and a bunch of other stuff to do – the last week has been miraculous for me.

All because one event led to the other. And I let myself get carried along, without disturbing the flow of events.

I’m sharing it all with you because I know how difficult the trenches of desperation for success can be.

And if you’re someone like me who tends to operate in the opposite way of what I’ve shared, this edition will help you make it through those trenches.

Oh and…

Allow me to introduce to you Self-Expression Group Intensive 1.0. (SEGI 1.0) 😍

This program is not like anything I’ve ever delivered in my career so far. I can already feel it in my bones how transforming it’s going to be 🚀

For the brevity of this edition, instead of sharing each detail of the program here, I’m sharing this link with all the details.

TLDR: I’m onboarding only 7 people (of which 1 spot is taken). And I’m looking for people who have no-nonsense commitment to their personal growth. Hence, I’m getting on 1:1 alignment calls with everyone who is serious about joining.

The program will begin from 13th April, Saturday. For all other details, check this link.

I’d love to make you experience the potential of self-expression in strengthening your relationships and deepening the quality of your life.

If you’d also want to give yourself this experience, let’s talk.

Any queries? Please DM me. (Now you can DM me directly on Substack)

Or as always, you can comment/ reply to this email.

Here’s to the act of miracles…and the miracle of acts itself!

🦋

Until next Thursday,

Ashi

ps: If you know someone who is struggling with self-expression and conversation challenges, please share about Self-Expression Group Intensive 1.0 with them 🫶