Hey #156: Subtle Growth Signs That Most People Miss

Missing these is how you end up feeling stuck, even when you’re not

We are evolutionary creatures.

To evolve, grow and heal is our nature.

Each of us refers to certain cues to validate our individual growth and healing. When we ignore those cues, we can fall into false traps of stagnation, which then makes us feel dejected and unfulfilled.

So, it’s important to not only take actions to grow and heal, but also to put some energy into paying attention to the cues which confirm your growth and healing.

I’m not talking about getting a desired result as the cue of growth. That’s a quite evident cue. My emphasis is on those subtle and nuanced signs which whether you attain desired results or not, still highlight your growth and healing.

THAT is where I believe a lot of us don’t pay enough attention.

So, that’s what we’ll be exploring today — The subtle signs which regardless of your idea of growth and healing, signify your growth and healing.

1) The energy levels while taking an action

It’s one thing to feel energised while doing something you like. It’s altogether another thing to be able to feel the same energy, when you’re taking an action which isn’t akin to your interest.

That energy is a sign of your growth. Because it shows you’re able to focus on the task without getting attached with your likes and dislikes.

Even if you notice yourself feeling neutral and stable while doing a task (of not your liking) which earlier used to deplete you, know that you’re growing!

2) The notions of failure and success

When failure and success don’t feel like “failure” and “success” but “experiments’, it’s guaranteed you’re growing.

People misinterpret this change as them becoming disinterested in growth. But it’s actually quite the opposite. It’s a mark of unsubscribing from the confining notions of growth, and creating a wider scope of growth where you value progress over perfection, and lessons over labels.

This subtle yet significant change doesn’t only reflect in your mindset, but also in your day-to-day communication and behaviors. Largely, your objective of taking an action shifts from attaining some result to conducting an experiment with the best of your abilities, of which result becomes a secondary part.

This is a prominent sign of growth.

3) The pauses

The external situations remain the same, but your responses change. How? You say words, but with effortless pauses in between. You react, but with effortless pauses in between. You think, but with pauses in between. You feel, but pauses in between.

(When these pauses are not effortless, that means you’re consciously making an effort to pause before responding and reacting — which is still a sign of growth. Since today’s focus is on the signals which are hard to notice, I’m emphasizing the effortlessness of those pauses as when something becomes effortless, it becomes too subtle to notice.)

Basically, you do all that you’ve been doing. But an unexplainable stability begins to follow you around. Things don’t get the same response from you as they once used to. Also, you no longer feel the urge to fill silences with words. Pauses, silences, stillness don’t feel scary and uncomfortable.

At first when you recognize this, you might take it as your indifference. But observe closely — indifference makes you feel disconnected, even numb. This, on the other hand, feels quietly powerful. You’re not reacting less, because you care less. You’re reacting less, because you’re anchored more. That’s growth!

4) The conclusions and judgments

You find yourself asking questions, discussing various topics, having different conversations…but you don’t draw conclusions.

Earlier, what was so easy and quick for you to conclude as “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong”, no longer receives any of such conclusions from you. Instead, you engage in conversations and discussions without finding a need to conclude anything.

You may even find yourself wondering, “What’s the point of having any conversation then?” And the answer usually lies in your growing inclination of choosing connection and exploration over judgment and conclusion. That’s subtle and gamechanger on so many levels.

5) The relationship with rest

Rest is not all about taking off x number of hours every day. Many times, rest lies in those few minutes or even seconds when you’re able to switch off from day-to-day activities, and can go within.

When you find yourself taking rest for a few minutes or seconds sprinkled throughout your day without feeling any urgency, guilt and regret, you’re growing.

You can notice this growth by observing the change in your inner dialogue — which goes from constant criticising and questioning your decision of resting to fully being onboard with the rest.

6) The need for answers

A very subtle sign of growth is your okayness with not knowing answers.

You continue asking questions, but you no longer find yourself gripped in the need of finding answers by hook or crook. It’s likely to mistake this as complacency. But actually, it’s deepening trust in the process and yourself.

You don’t hesitate in saying “I don’t know” because you no longer escape discomfort which comes with not chasing answers. Very subtly, this okayness with discomfort expands in all other areas of your life, expanding your ideas of growth, healing and evolution along with it.

7) The urgency

You set goals. You set out on actualising your dreams. But the urgency established by rigid timelines dissolves.

You aim big. Not with the intention of proving your worth to others or to yourself, but simply because you want to.

Such a shift reflects in the way you think and feel about your goals and dreams. You notice the presence of fear of failing or missing out. But it doesn’t affect you. You actually enjoy the process of making dreams come true, regardless of the outcomes.

That ease and freedom is the subtle sign of growth. And most of us miss this sign because we’ve not really known pursuit without desperation.

There are other signs like these. But I’m keeping it limited to these seven for today.

Sit with them. Notice which one(s) feel familiar. It needn’t be in the exact words of what’s written. It can be any version of it.

Pay attention.

You’re most likely growing, even when you feel stuck.

🦋

Until next week,

Ashi