Hey #073: What would happen if we stop trying to impress everyone (INCLUDING ourselves)?

An open query…👇

When we feel rage within, yet choose to deny it — what do we try to prove?

That we’re lovable? That we’re nice? That we’re “good” people?

When we want to question the norms, yet choose to not say a word or act against them — what do we try to preserve?

The image of compliance? The construct of society? The foundation of conventions?

Call it what we want — you, me, he, she, them, all of us constantly try to impress others and ourselves by proving and preserving stuff.

We do it to gain validation. We do it to feel loved. We do it to find purpose.

I’m not here to tell you if it’s right or wrong.

I’m here to pose the question:

What would happen if we stop trying to impress everyone (INCLUDING ourselves)?

I don’t know about you. But for me, not trying to impress others is not a challenge. Not trying to impress myself is.

When I keep making efforts to impress myself:

• I put myself on a pedestal.

• my expectations with self become unreasonable.

• I start abandoning my imperfect parts.

So if I stop trying to impress myself, I’d start coming to terms with the whole of me, instead of only the “impressive” parts of me. And I’d start taking it easy on myself.

Isn’t that what we all want? To take it easy? To live life breezily?

Then what’s stopping us?

Why don’t we stop making it a big deal to impress and be impressed?

Ah well. I don’t have an exact answer.

All I know is that we’ve made a lot of things our source of identity. Disassociating from those things simply means inviting identity crises in one form or the other. Hint: Impress and be impressed is one of those things.

No matter how much we blindfold ourselves from this truth, we know that we keep finding ourselves living on the edge of one identity crisis after the other. We don’t want to fall off that edge. So we do everything that we can (oftentimes unconsciously) to not set identity crises in motion. 

That’s the answer for why we don’t stop impressing others and ourselves.

I’m not going to tell you 7 tips or 3 methods to stop making a big deal of this whole impression thing. For I feel it’s not the right time (yet). 

First it’s important to observe and understand the ways the deeply ingrained need of impressing others (and self) influences our day-to-day thoughts, behaviors and actions. Without that understanding, no number of tips and methods would help.

So I’m leaving you with it:

What would happen if we stop trying to impress everyone (INCLUDING ourselves)?

Take it as a question. Or as a hunch. Or as a doubt. Your choice.

Spend some time with it and you’ll be amazed.

🦋

I’ll see you next Thursday,

Ashi

(this is me on LinkedIn)

ps: Just like the concept of impressing, the concept of validation gets mixed feelings. What’s the matter? Is validation good or bad? Read it here.

One more relevant read: Why do we hesitate to accept the fact that we love and want attention?